Millipedes, Birds, and the Curse of Prom

First thing I shall address: millipedes.

While flouncing through the house yesterday, I saw my cat, Buddy, looking very intently at a plant my mother had brought in from the cold months ago. Expecting him to be, as is normally the case, looking at something only he himself can see, I plopped down next to him and got down low, cheeks together with his as the cat and I stared at the plant's pot. Then I lurched back, horrified, and screamed. Surprisingly, not loud enough to scare the cat away, but enough to cause him to give me a questioning look. In the pot were five, FIVE, little worms with dozens of legs and crawling around...larva lookin'...*shivers* Now, I'm certainly no girly girl and don't particularly care if there are bugs in the house or not. Spiders are fine, especially the web-making ones (they eat bad bugs!), moths are lovely, and I think silverfish are just adourable! But those things....oh, they were awful...*shivers again*

Told mother the plants had to go outside. NOW. They were producing things not meant to be in the house! She pouted and argued, but relented. Oh, those poor poor plants, she muttered, they're gonna wither in the cold. All the while, she is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Oh yeah, they will soooo freeze. *rolls eyes* Those precious little plants are breeding vermin. They must go. And so they did. Creepy little creatures...remind me of a nightmare I once had...perhaps that is why I disliked them so much...(my god, I sound like the annoying teenage girl I should be! I'm kinda proud..and yet equally disappointed)

Second thing: Birds are evil.

So....woke up this morning...to the birds chirping...at the freaking crack of dawn. Yeah, normally I wouldn't care, because that's when I usually get up....when I'm going to school or work. But this, my friends, is spring break. This means I sleep in as much as I can, even if it's only until eight or nine, I'll take it. But no, the birds wanted me up at sunrise. Here is what happened:

Three chirps. Pause. Three more chirps. Pause. Three chirps. Elizabeth appears at the window. Chirps. Elizabeth bangs on the window. Pause. Three more chirps. Elizabeth opens the window. Pause. Chirps. Elizabeth screams at them to shut up before she gets out a shot gun. Pause. Three more chirps. Elizabeth screams even louder, allowing echoes about the section of houses placed closely together and filled with old, retired people. She threatens to throw her cat. Pause. Three more chirps. Elizabeth loses her patience (because she hadn't before, obviously) and begins to throw pencils at the tree outside her window. Scuffling. Birds fly into the air. Pause. Silence. Elizabeth lets out a sigh of relief. She looks out the window again. A trash lady looks at her as if she has lost her mind. Elizabeth closes the window.

Every time, three goddamn chirps. Three is a demonic number, you know. And sadly enough, I'm pretty sure that trash lady has seen me in weirder moments. She shouldn't be so surprised anymore, but I always seem to do it. She really shouldn't look at my window...actually, she should just avoid the house, honestly. Next week, she'll probably just grab the trashbags and run...

Now then, lastly: prom dresses are the bitches of the female world....well, one of them, anyways...there are many...

Went shopping with the girls for prom dresses...which was fun...but not while trying on dresses...I'd have to wear a jacket with just about any of them (unsightly scars and scratches on the back and arms...not something people would need to see ^_^). But what I wanted was...a princess dress. Why? Because I can. And I got it. Well, actually, one of my friends had it...and it only took three hours to discover that this indeed would do just fine...but oh well. It was fun. I suggest everyone to go to all the retail/thrift/etc. stores with the craziest stuff you can find and try that stuff on with a group of friends...it's a riot. XD

But yes, it's a princess dress! It's black and poofy and all I need is a crown, a thrown, and a sword. And a castle in the icecaps...and people to invade the castle...Foolish mortals! And I'd go out into the snow, dress flowing, and slice people to ribbons. Then my girlfriend would come swooping down on a Pegasus while wearing a chain-mail dress and swinging an axe (while wearing the poofy dress, this was the image my friends came up with...I just did the moves...). And our prom theme? Candy Land. What are we? Licorice, apparently. I hate licorice, but this could make me like it. Can't think of any other black candy...oh, I need black gloves...no clue where to get those...oh well, have a month...

Well, while I'm screaming from millipedes and birds are screaming from me, I shall feel like a warrior princes...no, queen...wait, lets push this up a little, GODDESS! *lets out an evil laugh, following with a string of coughs* Yeah, been doin' that lately too. The laugh and the cough.

Always remember, when you go to heaven, all those interesting people won't be there...then again, birds won't be there either...weigh your options...personally, I'm shooting for Purgatory...and planing on chaining myself there...if you've read my quote above, I'm not really on great terms with either of those guys...:D